Compliments from the Hubbalicious

About an hour ago, I woke up to a text from Sam that made me swoon.

He called me brilliant, wise, stunning, and funny.

Except the words he used were, “I am missing your musings.”

Specifically, he said, “I know that it needs to be an act of love and flow, but I am missing your musings.”

And I’m still grinning. Because, for this weirdo witchy wild woman, this is THE compliment. To not only be so understood (“I know that it needs to be an act of love and flow,”) but to also have Sam miss my musings – mmmmmmmmmm.

Yes, sometimes I put on dresses and wear lipstick and look ::chef’s kiss::

Sometimes I do really nice things for other people and create the opportunity for you to rave about how kind I am.

Sometimes I this and sometimes I that.

But I really just want people to love my writing and tell me so.

It might be a bit broader than that. I want people to love the way I see the world. I want you to find my thoughts and feelings fascinating because, well… I find my thoughts and feelings fascinating.

And that is, perhaps, a revolutionary act. I don’t know. I think we’re all supposed to low key (or high key) hate ourselves so we keep buying stuff we don’t need and our systems stay intact?

Who knows. I don’t actually know very much about all the ways our systems are failing because I spend most of my time obsessively focused on a different question: how can we delight in the human experience?

That’s why I know so much about how to overcome depression because, to delight in my human experience, I had to overcome depression.

It’s why I own the domain HowToHuman.earth and why, I’m pretty sure, there will someday be a book with my name on it called “How to Human: The Instruction Manual You Would Have Gotten From Your Elders if Our Society Sucked Less.” (The title will change 100 times, but that’s the one that delights me most right now.)

I haven’t been writing recently because I’ve been in mad scientist mode. As most of you know, because I can’t NOT write about the interesting things going on in my life, Sam and I moved on to IVF in our infertility journey.

And, while I was in Taiwan for the egg retrieval, I was focused on one oh-so-fascinating question: is it possible for me to be 10 out of 10 satisfied with my life while going through IVF?

The answer, I found, was yes. 100% yes. As soon as I went back to the “how to human” basics and developed a plan based on what I know works for this particular human – I was perfectly happy throughout the entire thing.

Hormone injections and all.

So I haven’t been publishing because I’ve been experimenting. And my experiment included releasing every single expectation that I or anyone else had of me. Including my own expectation of publishing regularly. My mornings were filled with doctor's appointments, and when I write later in the day, it often doesn’t fill me with the sparkly joy that I get when I write in the morning. So I didn’t write much.

And now I’m on the other side. I’m packing up for a 6-week trip to the US that starts tomorrow, and this is the little life update that I’m sending out based on my oh-so-very-beloved husband sending me the best compliment ever.

I’m so glad you missed my musings, hubby. I missed them too.

And thank you, hubbalicious. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For supporting my experiment. For encouraging my experiment. For being the best person in the world to go through things like this with. I love you to the moon.

Love,

Your friend who is a fascinated student of the human experience

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Morning Musings is a delight-first writing practice where I make a cup of coffee, dance around my house a little bit, then put my fingers on the keyboard and see what comes up.

Some folks find these musings helpful. If you know anyone who might like this musing, please share it freely.