#247: Why yes, I will continue to avoid that, thank you very much.

According to people who know things, babies are born without fully developed nervous systems.

Which means (to my understanding) that they tap into their caregivers’ nervous systems until they’re about seven.

Kind of fascinating, right?

This little bundle of infant cuddle living in our house—the cutest roommate we’ve ever had—is just borrowing our nervous systems to regulate her body, mind, spirit, emotions...

Her everything, really.

So, like, how I feel matters.

How Sam feels matters.

How all of her caregivers feel matters.

So yesterday, when Mama Bear was stewing in neck-pain-induced agony, bitterness, resentment, and frustration and broadcasting those feelings out to Bao Bao…

Well, I wasn’t okay with it.

Because the thing that had me worked up...

It’s 100% within my sphere of influence.

The problem I’m facing? There’s not a single comfortable place in our home for me to breastfeed sitting up.

And since I spend roughly fourteen thousand hours per day breastfeeding, that’s a real issue.

But it’s also a wildly solvable problem. All I have to do is measure my torso from my sit bones to the crown of my head, then order a new chair that provides neck support.

But since I haven’t wanted to spend the money, I’ve instead just avoided.

And avoided.

And avoided.

I burst into tears the first time I sat in this chair because I was so disappointed with my online order, yet two months have passed with no action on my part. None whatsoever.

And now, instead of measuring my torso and ordering a new chair, I’m writing an essay about it.

Just wanted to let everyone know how I solve my problems.

Why am I like this? (she asked, laughing with good cheer renewed)

Love,

Keely

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Morning Musings is a delight-first writing practice where I wake up, put my fingers on the keyboard and see if any ideas want to play. The cherished humans who read these musings tend to see them as an invitation to slow down, have a virtual cup of coffee together, and contemplate the human experience. If you’d like to join our tribe, subscribe below.